


Valhalla

by smartwaterworks



Category: The Avengers (2012)
Genre: F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-15
Updated: 2013-03-15
Packaged: 2017-12-05 08:46:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,476
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/721144
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smartwaterworks/pseuds/smartwaterworks
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Maria dies in the final battle between Shield and the wronged god- Loki, but is it the end of her journey?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Valhalla

Is Heaven What You Make It?

The rain outside the deceased agent’s home poured, leading the god to think of her nervous ticks during a thunderstorm. She hated the loud claps of thunder that would occasionally shake her apartment- and what he would have done to save her from the mission that led to her fear of what could calm him. Actually… no. It made her what she became. The possessive woman who in death, still gripped his heart.

The victorious harbinger of death stood by a tall pane of glass, looming over the busy city below. Despite the battle that had corrupted her streets not a month prior, she was still stunning. The moonlight reflecting off the puddled water, the claps that vibrated through her soil and metal statues.. it all reminded him of the woman.  
In the end, he had to kill her. She would have never forgiven him for the death toll he had caused in her agency, and he could see that in her eyes as they said their goodbyes. Most if not all agents were dead, as well as the talented group of mortals, and the not-brother god. Any who were spared, be it they were on a mission or simply hiding in their homes, would return to find their workplace in shambles and their coworkers slaughtered. Their world, torn apart, all by one man.. one god. The wrongdoers had been punished, and with a foolish thought, Loki believed he could sleep in peace now.

He never would have guessed he was wrong.

The woman’s death had been swift. She had pleaded with him to stop, ‘the idiocy’, he remembered, but to no avail. When the deputy director had seen the determination in the god’s gaze, she simply nodded… and returned to war. Her death was glorious, having injured the god with that damned gun twice before she had been taken. Absentmindedly, the wronged god flexed his arm and brought a hand to lay over the M-shaped scar that presided over his skin. One day, he would heal the mark with his magic, but today, it would stay. 

As a reminder of the woman who played him, stole his heart, then took it to her grave.

The storm raged on and the god stepped into the agent’s home office. The desk in the corner of the room had been emptied of any evidence of Shield with a wave of his hand. Out of curiosity, the god had rummaged through the mahogany drawers, and was surprised to find something she had not shared. A small picture of a young woman who favored his lover, but was sporting a very pregnant belly and a smile. Her mother. The god opened a pocket in space and left the photograph there, promising to return it to her grave when he visited for a final time.

The god of chaos listened to the storm for a few silent moments before sitting down on a darkened piano bench. His fingers spread across the ivory keys, matching the weather’s mood with his song. It was one she had requested of him before, and now it, just like he, was hers. Loki continued to press long digits along the notes, his eyes closing as pictures of her form crossed the expanse of his mind. 

—-

The woman had thought it impossible, improbable, and ridiculous. She was dead- there should be nothing. No moving, no lights- there should be nothing but perpetual darkness. That or a sea of paperwork, she could not be sure. Heaven was what you made it, was it not? It was not. Upon her death she was startling aware of her surroundings.. specifically, who surrounded her. She saw the tear which trailed down the god’s cheek; the broken bodies of her agents and.. her own being carried to an area that was not in flames.

Her next moment of awareness was when three beautiful women stood before her, beckoning her forward with their hands. They were clothed in white feathers and battle gear, with fierce bodies that towered over the small mortal. She followed, unafraid.  
The next moment was when she stood amongst a sea of dead- Norse warriors who fought in battles who slept in the halls of Valhalla. It made no sense as to why a small mortal woman stood in them, hidden by the gods and goddesses who dwarfed her. The five hundred and forty doors held nothing for her, and she seated herself in a corner to observe. She noticed the wolf to the west and the eagle above it.   
As quickly as she arrived, she felt herself pulled to a presence. The Allfather knew her name, knew her face, for Heimdall had been watching. A flicker of thought of her killer   
flashed in her mind before she stood to address Odin, the guardian of her new home.

“Lady Hill.. please step forward.” 

The woman in question lifted her head to face Odin and the golden son, who was sent there by the same murderer as she.

“I am she.” Her emotions were surprisingly intact in death- she neither feared nor cared to fear. What did it matter now?

“You were the one Loki loved?” The question was expected from Odin, and it caused a murmur through the crowd in the halls.

“You know that I am.” The woman’s eyes shifted from the Allfather to the Odinson, whose golden sheen echoed still in death. 

“Do you think my son was wrong in his actions against the group Thor joined, and the battle with your mortal allies?” A curious question which caused the woman’s brow to furrow.

“I do.” She stepped closer, inspecting the throne upon which he sat and the face of the man beside him. Thor and his father… the not-family of her personal god.

“Did you still love my son? Even in death?” 

The question gave her pause. As it was, the woman wanted to rebuke him for asking such a forward question of a matter that was not his concern, but such would be foolish. “I do.”

The Allfather shook his head slowly, holding out his hand at the woman. “Then I, Odin Allfather, return you to him, to speak to him from your death.”

The agent’s face grew ashen as her eyes bulged forward, and before her, the images of the great hall and its warriors disintegrated. A new picture arose in its place- of a raven haired god playing his soul with ivory and black keys.

The view of her lover so wholly involved was intimate, one she had shared with him so many times before. Countless days had she walked into her home to be serenaded by his song. The woman smiled involuntarily and walked to him. Transparent arms snaked over his shoulders and laid across his chest as she nuzzled her face into the skin of his neck. The touch was missed, and her love so powerful that even in death, she still could not hate him. 

Loki inhaled the remaining scent of the woman, seemingly made new by a fresh encounter. The first smile in weeks crossed his face as he leaned into a touch that he could not feel. The name which had not been spoken aloud since that night so pushed on his lips that if it were not released, it would force itself.   
“Maria….”

\----

Valhalla is for Norse Warriors

The woman’s transparent form was unknown to him, but he could taste the familiar smell of coconut and strawberries on his tongue. In the moment, he had forgotten she was gone- that he had pushed a knife through her throat to rid the woman of her guilt and suffering. The god was mentally transported to a time where changing her ceiling to the sky of Asgard made her astonished; to a time where changing her favorite shirt green had made her laugh, and to a time where her legs were tossed over his while they laid by the fire made her smile. A book that made her cry, the perfect slice of pie made for him.. all these things and more were his memories, and he cherished them.  
All these things were no more in the present, but who was he to think of the now? Loki turned his face to nuzzle into hers, but the woman’s familiar touch was lost to him again. Maria was gone.

The night’s rainfall raged on, and the storm was as unrelenting as his sorrow. Tonight, he had thought she was behind him, begging him to keep playing the melodies of his soul into the piano as he had done before. The woman herself was standing invisible in the doorway of her office. Tears streamed down the normally stoic face as she watched his shoulders slump forward. Now was not the time to show herself- she was not ready. That night as the god forced himself to lie in the bed alone, the woman’s spirit followed. The god was aware of an unnatural presence in the sheets, and as he clenched her pillow into his hand, he slept while she watched. Her hand would raise to wipe a tear from his cheek, or to brush a fallen strand of hair with the utmost care you would not expect from the victim. But Maria was a victim in love with a murderer.

Another week passed by before the god left the apartment, and he went to the one place Maria was assume he would avoid. Her grave.. She watched in silence as the photograph appeared and was placed, held by magic to the bottom of the tombstone to hold against the wind. Upon further inspection, she recalled the memory of finding the picture, and were she able, the spectral image would have cried. She watched the god turn away and as he did, she whispered into the wind.  
“Thank you..”

And the god turned to look through her, shed another tear, and left.

—-

Her goal on Earth was not clear. It was not to have Loki repent of his sins- nor was it to raise his own spirits for the cause of mischief. Odin Allfather had done nothing to draw her path but send her to her lover. Maybe it was to make up for the lie Loki had lived on Asgard- Maria did not know. Gods had strange ways.  
The woman walked through the City of New York. Her pace was quick as she turned to the destroyed ruins of her agency. Everywhere she looked she saw another body, another corpse, another failure and more blood on her hands. The woman became angry, irate that the god who meant so much to her could destroy the very thing that she stood for! With a blink of an eye she stood before Loki again. 

A fire burned in her once-home as the woman’s transparent image filled. Brown curls became full once more as her anger fueled her passion, the pale skin becoming tan. Her Shield uniform, the very clothing she died in, clung to her full body again. Maria Hill’s body and soul was back on the world of the living, with a single difference that shined a bright contrast to her normal appearance. The blue eyes that the god had stared into so often were a flaming red that put his Jotun form to shame; the only evidence that what was being seen was unnatural and unholy.

The god’s eyes remained closed during this occurrence, all too aware of the change in the place he considered home. Her anger permeated through the air and when he opened his eyes, the god had to refrain from taking a step back.

“Maria…” Green eyes were glazed over from lack of sleep, and Loki wiped his oculars muscles to see clearer. It did nothing, for the woman pointing at him from through the fire did not change.

“You killed them! Two years, Loki, you spent two years on this planet and you still killed them! Why?!” Her shout was not lost during another clap of thunder- its volume would ring in his ears. 

The god shook his head and when he looked again, she was gone. He twisted his body and searched the room, finding the woman sneering her lips behind him.   
“You killed them. After all I’ve done for you.. and you killed them. Does your blood lust know no bounds? Do you kill for fun? Is it your nature to screw and slaughter people like cattle?” The woman knew without a doubt he had loved her, she knew how many tears he had shed while holding her broken body, but that did not make up for the pain he had caused her.

The god’s sharp intake of breath broke through the silence, and he reached up to touch her face. “You know that is not true.. I love you, but you’re not here.”

His hand fell to the side as he paced away from her. He must have lost his mind. It was already fragile from the fall off the Bifrost- and now from the loss of her it was shattered. Maria was not there- she would not speak to him like this.

“You know damn well I’m here. Your father sent me! You can’t even look at the woman you killed! I was wrong.. You don’t have a heart.” She hissed through her clenched teeth, and the anguish the woman felt shoot the room, causing books to fall off their shelves and the furniture to shake. 

“Enough!” The god turned to her, a sharp mix of fear and sadness radiating through his features. He stared once again into the eyes he loved, the red turning dull and fading into blue. The woman’s anger was fading, but her quick breathing was apparent in the rise and fall of her chest. “No, love, you were right. I did have one, but you hold it in your very possession.. and if you insist on crushing it then crush it and be gone!”

Maria’s body fell onto the black sofa and she stared into the embers- the fire that had so well represented her anger was now nothing but smoldering as her sorrow.   
“I tried.. so hard, Loki. I loved you and.. and now everything I stood for is gone. You’ve blown it to ashes..” A sob wrecked her body and she leaned forward to hide her shame in her hands. 

Loki folded his hands in front of him as he sat beside her- still believing that it was his shattered mind playing tricks on the trickster. “I had to. Too many times have I been wronged, Maria, you should know that.”

“I do.. and how many times have you wronged me?” The loaded question was given calmly, as her tears had left and the woman stared for an answer.

The god sighed and reached forward to wrap a hand around her neck, pulling her closer until she was held against him. His nose buried itself in her hair, and he breathed in the smell of the woman he missed so dearly. “Too many times, Maria.” 

Her legs entangled themselves with his as she turned to lay her head on his chest, resting her ear to hear the heartbeat. Its steady rhythm had once put her to sleep; had comforted her in her time of need. The god leaned forward and pressed a kiss to the top of her head, raking long digits through the brown curls that fell beneath her shoulders. 

“I do not belong here, Loki.”

“You are not here, Maria.”

The two glanced at each other, the love and the hurt both crashing like trains on the same railing. Their relationship was doomed from the start- forbidden by the laws of her agency and by nature itself.

“I am, Loki. Your mind may be in shambles but you aren’t seeing things.. I am here, right in front of you. You can hear me, feel me.. I’m here, but I don’t belong.”

Her words struck a chord within him, and within a few moments he had sat up, pulling her into his lap for an embrace. “You belong here with me. You aren’t leaving me.”

“I don’t recall leaving you last time, Loki.” The words were cold, but the woman remained where she sat- in the all familiar embrace of the god of chaos.

“I know..” Loki would never be at peace with her death- but if she was right, and his mind was intact, why was she here and how did this become? “Maria.. tell me everything.”

”Back to ordering me around I see.” She countered playfully. The mood quickly shifted back to seriousness as she thought upon her memories. She told him of the Valkyrie, then Valhalla’s doors.. then Odin and Thor.

Loki’s reaction to the not-brother was to be expected; he had killed him after all. The god’s breath hitched as he buried his face into her hair, not even giving a worthy attempt to hide the pain he felt of losing her, the shock of seeing Thor’s body finally breathe its last because of the harbinger, the feeling of victory at the fall of Shield.  
“Valhalla is for fallen warriors of the Norse… not me, Loki. Never me.”

It was true- the woman’s soul had yet to find its final resting place. She had fought and died valiantly at the hands of the god of chaos, but Valhalla was not her home.

“I know love.. I think your purpose here has been orchestrated from the start.. Heimdall and Odin have sent you here to remind me.”

Maria smiled and leaned her forehead against his. The god focused on the woman and noticed the tiniest of shimmers. The sight caused his arms to form tighter around her, refusing to believe that she would leave him once more.

“I’m here to remind you that I fell in love with a good man. There are sides to you that are stunning, Loki. You’re absolutely brilliant, yet you let the past tether you to the ground. You’ve shown me the skies of your home and more! If you really love me, you have to promise me something.”

Loki would not like her request, it was obvious. Instead he shook his head and held to her. “No, no, Maria don’t talk like that. You’re staying.”

“I’m not actually.. my time’s up. It was counting down when first I met you.. Loki please, don’t sit in here and sulk. You’re the god of mischief for a reason! Do you remember the fun we would have watching acorns pelt teenagers in the face in the park? A frog jumping out of a rude woman’s soup in a restaurant. Mischief, Loki, not chaos. We loved, Loki. You cannot forget that.”

During her words, the god pulled back his face to view her. Familiar cuts formed on her face, a stark reminder to the final battle. An open gash slowly widened on the unknowing woman’s throat, a few scrapes on her arms and tears on the uniform. Her body was taking on its final show, and the god could not help but stare at the damage he had caused.  
“How could I? You expect me to have fun while your body falls apart in mortal burials? How can you ask that of me?”

“I’m asking you to remember me, Loki. I’m begging you.. don’t forget me. Please, a hundred years from now when there’s nothing left of me, please.. just don’t… don’t forget me.”  
The woman’s body was losing its color- becoming more transparent by the minute. She had fulfilled whatever her soul had required, and would be leaving for the afterlife for mortals. No more Valhalla, no more Odin or Thor.. and no more Loki.

The god wiped the tear from her eye and pressed a small kiss to her forehead, making verbal promises that “never in a million years will I forget you.”

A relieved smile broke through her tears and she cried out once more before it was over- she was gone.  
“I love you.”

The god screamed, “No, Maria! Maria!” With a small gesticulation of his fingers, a clean familiar uniform appeared in his hands, and he sobbed into it for what seemed to him like eternity. 

The woman was gone, and with it his heart- but she had given him peace that no one else could give. “I love you as well, my darling….”

While sorrow would always follow him, Loki would know that even in death she thought of him, and when the final flames of Ragnarok were engulfing him, he thought of his past lovers and the of last of these was her- the agent who shot her way into his life and left such an impression, that the harbinger could not forget her if he tried.


End file.
